Ask me no questions

I’m about to become an aunty for the first time.

I’m about to become an aunty for the first time. Which means my brother is about to become a dad for the first time.

I had an inkling he had been thinking of starting a family earlier this year, when he asked me if it was easier parenting Tibbons as a toddler or when he was a little baby. He’d never asked me anything about how it is to be a parent before.

As the adage goes, ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Here are a few things I could have shared, but didn’t.

Time takes on a whole new concept when you’re a parent. You feel it slipping through your fingers and you measure it much more than before - whether it’s the minutes your baby has been feeding, the hours they’ve (not) been sleeping, or the months you’ve known them. All time is precious.

Unless you have a friend or dog that follows you like a shadow, you won’t be used to the constant companionship that parenthood brings. It’s a lovely change, but it’s not without its challenges too - especially if you’re the sort of person who likes to use the loo in peace. Or eat a meal without fearing that you’re going to drop something hot on someone else’s head.

Oh, and being a new parent puts you on terra very-un-firma. If you’re used to knowing roughly what you’re doing in life (as my brother is), then this one could really throw you. Time to channel that gut instinct.

I didn’t share those things with my brother, because part of the fun is finding them out for yourself. Right?

And all he really needs to know is that you make whatever changes you have to, willingly, because what better reason could you ever have?