Bakery Bulletin by Philippa Kelly: Putting the pancake into Pancake Day

That’s no man, woman, or child except me.

Well, kind of. It’s derived from “shrive” which is a verb meaning to confess your sins, perform a penance, and seek absolution for the aforementioned sins.

Just as well they invented “shrive” - far more appropriate for a day of festivities than Confess Your Sins, Perform A Penance, And Seek Absolution For The Aforementioned Sins Tuesday.

Mardi Gras is a fancy version of Pancake Day. Prior to this exact moment, I had subconsciously merged Mardi Gras and the Mexican Day of The Dead party into the same thing.

It was only my perfunctory research for this that prompted me to amend the fuzzy image in my mind of sugar skulls, Daniel Craig’s James Bond, and a pancake tosser.

Shame really - great image. But he is a tosser. What? He thoroughly enjoys pancake tossing.

If Mardi Gras is too fancy (or too French), you might just use the translation - Fat Tuesday. In America, they call it Mardi Gras Day, so that’s Fat Tuesday Day. You’ve got to love Americans.

The gist of the reasoning behind such a random holiday is that it’s the last night before forty days of fasting known as Lent.

And why’s that? It’s best not to ask questions - this stuff only survives due to its indeterminateness.

So why pancakes? Ignoring the fact that I literally just said not to ask questions, but acknowledging the fact that it wasn’t you who asked, pancakes make a lot of sense if you understand a little bit about Christianity.

I know, I know - it’s not worth it for a pancake, but bear with.

The four pillars of the Christian faith are quixotically linked to foodstuffs thus: eggs are “creation” (ok, so this one makes sense), flour is the “mainstay of the human diet” (flimsy at best), salt is “wholesomeness” (almost clever with the double-meaning of savoury. Should have used savoury), and milk is “purity” (ironic - it comes from inside a cow).

Mix all the elements of what it means to be human and you’ve got a pancake. And most other savoury baked goods.

The idea is that all of the rich foods seen as vices are used up on the Tuesday, and that’s what puts the pancake in Pancake Day.

But I thought those foods were the pillars of Christianity? Why are they bad? And isn’t almost everything I eat made from them? I said no questions.

Happy Fat Tuesday, you tosser.