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MOPPs: Today the members will have another chance to keep fit with regular MOPPs’ visitor Celia King’s chair-based exercises. Then they can get stuck in to ham, egg and chips, with upside down pudding to follow. Next Friday, April 15, it’s Frank James’ Race Day, just a week after the Grand National, and MOPPs will also be featuring the free toe-nail service, which is more than you can say for Aintree. Luncheon will be quiche and cheesy mash, followed by jam roly-poly.

Building on success: Tickets are on sale at the Post Office now for the Players’ April show, ‘The Time of my Life’ by Alan Ayckbourn, which has been directed by Charlotte Eastes. Of course, to ensure that you enjoy the production and that all is up to the standard you expect, they have to erect one of their always impressive sets, and this time the main build will be tomorrow Saturday 9, in the village hall from 9.30 am. The job usually runs over into the Sunday. In charge of the proceedings is Trevor Lewing, and he could really do with a couple of extra helpers. If you’d like to be involved, please contact Trevor either by calling 812340 or by email to [email protected]. Yes, it’s work, Jim, but not as we know it. It’s fun, too, and there are free teas or coffees plus biscuits, and you don’t have to commit your every waking hour to the project – just do what you reasonably can. And the gals are as welcome as the guys, too!

Have your say: If you’re a member of the Wine and Social Club, get on down on Monday next, April 11 at 7.30 pm in the village hall for the AGM. There’s one of Frank James’ devilish quizzes to follow, as well.

Speakers Corner: The AGM of Speakers Corner will be on Wednesday next, April 13 at 2.30 pm in the village hall. After the meeting there will be a tea for members. They hope all members will be there to support the hard working committee. The Tuesday Ladies Club: will be having a special meeting on April 19, just two days before the actual real-life date, which will celebrate the Queen’s 90th birthday. You’ll also be able to enjoy an amusing account of the Lighter Side of Policing from local ex-cop Ian ‘Spike’ Millington. The meeting starts at 2.15 pm and visitors, be they ladies or gentlemen, will be very welcome for a mere £2.

Hokey-Cokey Hospital: There’s an element of the hokey-cokey about my admission to Brighton Hospital for, after phone calls and a confirmatory letter, I’m in, I’m out – though they have advised me not to shake it all about. The possible trouble with a Sunday admission seems to be the sudden influx of emergency patients at the weekend, immediately filling beds and undermining the best laid plans. Of course, that doesn’t do much for the stress of the waiting patient, wife and children. Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’ll soon thumb a lift to Brighton and call 999!

Read all about it: I can hardly claim to have been inundated with calls from those wishing to take over this column for a month or more. How are you going to get by without it? If you pick up your Observer and it’s missing, it means I am, too, but it won’t be for long.

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