BB: A baby born is born, a brother for Tibbons

I am delighted to announce that Baby Boy (BB for short) has joined us on “the outside”.

I am delighted to announce that Baby Boy (BB for short) has joined us on “the outside” - and we are happily adjusting to life as a family of four.

I mean, sleep is not being had in any great quantity, but - as you may recall from recent columns - it wasn’t much different in the last months of pregnancy, and the newborn's cuddles more than compensate. Plus I can now lie on my front. Hoorah!

Nevertheless, life post-pregnancy is not all plain sailing - and I’m not even talking about the stitches. No, you see, I had somehow managed to forget how annoying other people become when you’ve had a child. (And yes, it’s definitely them, not me, or the heady mix of fluctuating hormones and lack of sleep).

When I’ve mentioned this to the few people who haven’t annoyed me since I’ve had BB, I’ve sensed some scepticism about who is actually to blame for me finding others so irksome of late.

In case you are similarly cynical, I thought it would be best if I gave you a few recent examples and let you judge for yourself.

A case in point is “The Visitor”; you get more than you know what to do with when you’ve had a baby. People you don’t even remember seeing when you were pregnant are suddenly taking up space on your sofa, eating their way through your biscuits, and leaving you with lots of washing up.

Most of them also stay too long, turning up for a “quick half-hour” that the clock on the mantelpiece and the growing bags under your eyes tell you has been at least double that. In fact, some don’t even wait to be invited, but pester you with repeated requests to come for a viewing. He’s not a house!

And how about the ones who demand waiter service, or offer to hold the baby while I tidy the house or catch up on chores? Annoying, no?