Born and bred in Brighton and Hove?

A few clues that your toddler is Brighton and Hove born and bred.

This week, a few clues that your toddler is Brighton and Hove born and bred.

When offered a simple snack such as a breadstick, their immediate question is “What dip?” (If you find yourself unable to fulfil such a request, you’re probably parenting in the wrong city, I’m afraid).

Their ability to mimic a seagull is uncanny, so much so that you could swear it draws the close scrutiny of many a feathered friend as you pass by, and the odd cat expecting to find a bird in distress (and the odd pedestrian expecting to find a child in distress, come to that).

Take them to a sandy beach and watch their face morph from one of puzzlement to sheer delight in about 10 seconds - who knew there were seascapes where it didn’t hurt to walk down to the water? (Be warned, there’s no going back from this one; once they have the knowledge they will never look at their home beach the same way again).

Their wall is lined with certificates from various baby-and-toddler classes you have both lovingly attended. From baby yoga to advanced singing and signing, they’re all there.

They think it’s normal to be able to eat their lunch in the library. And to dress up. And play. And run around. And be able to buy toys and posters. So much to learn!

As far as they are concerned, ducks are the stuff of fantasy, save for that one trip to Queen’s Park many moons ago. But even then, they were vastly outnumbered by seagulls. So it’s possible they weren’t spotted.

(These may or may not be real-life examples, I’ll leave you to work out which side of the line they fall.)