The Lazy Journalist is deafened by Brighton’s students

Steve Holloway
Steve Holloway

Now really should be the time to let rip at the gym.

The weather is, finally autumnal, and more importantly my back is pain-free and I really should be taking full advantage of the numbing effects of the medical procedure which zapped away the nerve signals at the base of my spine.

Don't we all? An unequivical message of support from a Lewes Road letting agent SUS-190926-091652001

Don't we all? An unequivical message of support from a Lewes Road letting agent SUS-190926-091652001

But I currently find myself at risk of injury EVERY time I step outside the door – with the very real and present danger of tinnitus caused by excitable students...

This risk is exponentially exacerbated by the fact that I’m currently living in the epicentre of all things studenty, the ground zero of nuclear-strength undergraduate shenanigans – Brighton’s Lewes Road.

The area between the Level and Moulsecoomb has long been popular with students of both Brighton and Sussex Universities, in the most part due to relatively cheap rents and proximity to the uni buildings in Moulsecoomb and Falmer.

But with the advent of new student accommodation and an increase in the number of student-friendly letting agents, the neighbourhood has become the Alpha and the Omega living quarters for Brighton’s budding scholars.

They bring with them a verbal decibel level which would potentially drown out a conversation between the bellowing baritones of Brian Blessed and attorney general Geoffrey Cox, and would cause the booming pair to politely ask them to ‘keep it down a bit.’

The wonderful Viz comic described the phenomenon as ‘talking loudly about philosophy in the queue for a cashpoint’.

Unnecessarily loud jibber-jabber often concerning esoteric topics or barely understood political theories, but delivered with the certainty of an especially confident Oxford Don. They’re happy of course, away from home, free from previous baggage and faced with minimal responsibility and maximum potential for fun.

Many of them are freshers (first-year students) and not only trying out brand new outfits but also brand new personalities, so it’s perhaps not surprising they’re, loudly, road-testing those new opinions, mannerisms and anecdotes.

You’d like not to begrudge them their fun but at the same time you wouldn’t be all that upset if they were suddenly struck down with a temporary voice-muting illness (from a safe distance away in the cashpoint queue).

Obviously, I’m making wild generalisations for minimal and petty comic effect. There are a great many conscientious hard-working students, and it goes without saying Brighton and Hove wouldn’t be the same without them, and the Lazy Journalist wouldn’t be here without Brighton University. I just wish they wouldn’t make quite so much noise in the beer, wines and spirits aisle at Sainsbury’s. But I’m probably just jealous.

Hopefully the gym will provide a refuge from these ebullient young souls, and I’ll let you know next time I go back to one of them.

To find out more about Freedom Leisure’s gyms visit www.freedom-leisure.co.uk